Thoughts on raising children

     I have to admit, I struggled on what write about for this post. So many topics, so many opinions, so many issues.    

     Recently a few of my FB friends posted the following link to their wall. http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-narcissists/?fb_action_ids=10200322259844454&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582#ixzz2HgLHUlvj  

    To make sure that I soaked it all in I read and re-read the article. Let me start by saying that I do not disagree with the good doctor. As a matter of fact I agree with most, if not all, of what he is saying. I do believe that, in general, most kids grow up with a sense of self entitlement, that I frankly never knew growing up. I believe that my generation still grew up with the idea that you earn what you get and that nothing is just given to you. 

    That said here is where I have a problem with Dr. Ablow's article. He doesn't offer up any solution. Instead of stating his opinion on an existing issue and then following up with a recommendation; all he does is present us with the problem. I'm sure Dr. Ablow is a very accomplished Psychiatrist. Why not go out on a limb and recommend a course of action? Maybe recommend some tools to help young parents cope? Wait...it just a occurred to me that he may have a book that does, just that. Okay, I get it, the problem is free but the solution is going to cost you. Well played Dr. Ablow.

Soapbox alert

   Look, parenting is not easy. I know. I've tried by best to properly raise two children. How you raise your kids is none of my concern and do not pass judgment. However we live in a world where society does pass judgment and does think that it concerns them, relative to how we raise your kids. As much as I hate to say it, society does play a part on how I raise my kids, specifically on how I discipline them. Let me put it in context. Last Saturday during warm ups for my son's basketball game I shouted out to him, yes I shouted, to use the backboard. With a look of disgust, and in front of a bench full of parents, he waived me off as to say, don't bother me, I got this. Let that marinate for a second....What did I do? I, with the other parents, made light of it and laughed it off. What did I feel like doing? My inclination was to snatch my son off the floor in front of all his his teammates, drag him outside, and let him know to not do that again. My father would not have thought twice. 

    So back to the article. Here is what I try to do to mitigate against the self entitlement and narcissism.

Keep it real 

• I love my kids very much, but them liking me is not necessary as they grow up
• I'm not my kids friend, homie, road dog, or buddy. And I don't try to be. I'm there dad 
• I don't celebrate mediocrity and I don't pump sunshine. If the kids have a bad game, I tell them they didn't play well and offer objective recommendations on how to improve. If they play well it's high fives all around. BTW it bugs me to no end that trophies are given just for participation. 
• I don't coddle my kids. If they fall I tell them to get up, if they experience disappointment I ask them what they are going to do about it. (you can ask my daughter she'll tell you)

     I'm am not saying what I do is perfect or even right. It's the only way I know how. As I mentioned, every parent has a tough job in raising their kids, especially in today's information age and pressure that society puts on us. So special shout out to all my family and friends that are raising kids. Wishing you all the best. Good luck.

P.S
Update on the weight loss. Three weeks working out 3-4 times per week. Feeling good and hurting at the same time. But it's a good hurt. Will occasionally update with milestones.