So here we are ready to end 2013 and welcome in the new year. The one thing I always loved about New Years Eve is that after the clock hits midnight you get a do over, so to speak. It's a clean slate, clear canvas, and the hope that the new year will bring tremendous opportunities. For that I am hopeful.

     It's no secret that I completed my education with the culmination of my MBA as a much older student. Do I wish that I would have finished school much earlier? Of course! It is what it is. Through the course of my studies I learned a few things about business. However, what I was also able to do is incorporate some of those business fundamentals in my life. There a three in particular that I think maybe helpful to others. Maybe this will help in the New Year.

1. Cost Benefit Analysis
      To be fair the concept is more complicated in terms of its application to business, projects, investments, etc. However the basic idea can be applied in all aspects of life. The idea is that if something costs you more than you benefit you should walk away from whatever that something is. Costs could be money, time, emotion, property, or anything that you value. For example if you want to start a house project a simple cost benefit analysis can be applied to decide, from an objective point of view, if it's worth it. You can also apply this to your relationships. If at the end of the day it costs you more to be in a relationship, than you benefit, why continue to sustain it? Of course this is an oversimplification, but sometimes decisions can be that simple when you look at it through an objective lens. 

2. Law of diminishing returns
     By definition it means: The tendency for a continuing application of effort or skill toward a particular project or goal to decline in effectiveness after a certain level of result has been achieved.

Through this perspective it would not make sense to continue to put effort into something that has stopped giving you or will never give you the return you're looking for. I don't discount human emotion. As a matter a fact it's  the main driver as to why things can't be viewed objectively and decided on objectively. There is always that human subjective lens. But the idea makes sense. If something or someone has reached that point of diminishing returns your resources are better suited for something else. 

3. The common denominator 
     By definition it means: 

1. Mathematics A quantity into which all the denominators of a set of fractions may be divided without a remainder. 2. A commonly shared theme or trait.

Do you know those friends or family that always have drama or chaos in their lives? Year over year they are the same stories, same circumstances, same outcomes? Well here is a piece of advice for those folks. If they are the common denominator in all those situations, they need to stop asking why. They are the issue! Change starts within and then the rest will follow. 

So with that I'm throwing up deuces and I'm out! 

Happy New Years to whoever reads my ramblings. Looking forward to 2014!

Thoughts on the new generation

    Wow it's been a while since I rambled. I put my head down for a little while and next thing I know the school year has started. Just like that summer vacation is over.

    I'm not sure if I can write the next post without sounding old but I'll try. In the recent news cycle a huge deal has been made about the VMA's and Miley Cyrus's performance. In my humble opinion I thought the coverage was overblown. But in today's world of social media the velocity in which news travels, the coverage didn't surprise me. Did I like her performance? No! Do I think it merited the media and social outrage? Not really. What offended me wasn't her and her behavior. What offended me was the basis of her performance. Or more to the point, the lack of basis. She has no talent. Her performance wasn't based on the art or her artistic ability. Everything about her performance was produced or better yet manufactured. Production was the substitute for talent. Her performance was like a genetically modified food. It was enhanced. Give her a mic with no auto-tune, band and lets see what she does? For that matter lets ban auto-tune all together. Image, behavior, looks, style, attitude, has become far more important that talent. Instead of developing artists the industry produces them like a TV shows.

     Next topic. I know I'm speaking to the choir but why does everything have to be amazing, classic, epic, extreme, hot, cool, sick, insane, or the best ever? Why can't one win or have success without having to crush it, kill it, destroy it, own it! You can't just fail anymore unless it's an epic fail. Ugh, I'm tired. Yes I'm as guilty as the next person of using these inane terms. Please help me stop. I really want to.

     Next topic. Does it seem like everything is a highlight? I am a huge fan of ESPN and Sports Center and my generation, in particular, grew up with the highlight reel. But I've noticed that ESPN has a section of videos that show random highlights. One was a dude dressed like Spiderman that seemed like he had great ball handling skills. Great for YouTube but let's ignore the fact that this guy was carrying the ball over which is not allowed in Basketball. Right! That's not important. The important part is that I saw the video. Or this random video of a college kid (wide receiver) doing a backflip and catching a football. Okay, try that in a football game and let me know how that works out. Hey but it got my attention. I feel like an ass for watching that one.

     Next topic. Do we, in general, have that inherent trait that forces us to get distracted by the shiny pretty thing in front of us? I think we do. It's not until later we find that there is no substance underneath the shine. And by then it's too late. Smart people make this mistake all the time and it kills me. I've made that mistake but have learned my lesson.

     Okay I'm done rambling for now. Just had to get all that off my....wait, what's that shiny pretty thing over there? Squirrel! Until next time. Deuces and I'm out :-)

   

Thoughts on the power of choice

     When my dad was visiting over the holidays we got into a conversation about human nature. I started off the conversation by saying "you know dad, in general, people are in their current position and situation in life, good or bad, because they deserve to be there. It's the choices they do or do not make that put them in their current station in life. Of course, as my dad does, he disagreed with me, at first. However over the course of the conversation he saw my point although he didn't completely agree with everything I said.

      The statement I made to my dad was not something I pulled from the air. The idea stemmed from general observation, mixed with school and career experiences, over the past 20 years. I've always been interested in human behavior, especially the difference from one person to another. Aside from genetics and the environment I always thought there were other factors that separated one person from the next. Why is one person miserable and the another happy. Why are some people successful while others are not? Why are some mean while others are kind? Yes genetics and environment play a part as to why a person ends up where they are in life or who they become, however I believe the third factor is choice or the ability to make choices. 

     Somewhere along the way our society has moved from a state of accountability to a state that assigns blame for everything that is wrong with their lives. Society in general needs to get in front of a mirror and take a hard look as to why they are where they are. Yes there are always exigent (always wanted to use that word) circumstance as to why something happens on ones life. However over the course of a lifetime one can find the reasons as to why things are the way they are if there is some self reflection. People, in general need to look in a mirror and ask "what choices am I making?" Blaming others, blaming circumstances, is easy and frankly lazy.

    Personally, looking in the mirror was a hard process. In my late twenties I was no where near where I wanted to be or thought I should be, and frankly I was bitter about it. I convinced myself that if certain things hadn't happened, or if other things would have worked out differently, I'd be in a better position. 

The truth was I was waiting for things to happen. I forgot that I had choices and as a result had no power to makes the changes necessary to get where I wanted to be. Doing the same thing over and over was not working and I knew I was wasn't crazy. So the look in the mirror was harsh, very harsh, but necessary. Since then, I have achieved success that I'm happy with and reached personal goals I thought were out of my reach, and so far things are where I want them to be and where I deserve to be. 

    So far I have made good choice and bad choice and honestly I don't regret any of them. The only thing I regret are the choice I didn't make along the way. What about you?

Fitness update: clothes are fitting looser 

Thoughts on Yoga Pants

     Admittedly I've always been a late bloomer. As a result I've always been one step behind trends, whether they be fashion trends, food trends, and so on. So if this topic seems a little dated...my bad. Current events in the news cycle inspired me to bring this topic up for this latest edition of my blog. So here we go.

    Yoga Pants, let me count the ways

     I had no idea how versatile a pair of yoga pants could be. Who knew that they could be used as pajamas, lounge wear, casual wear, work out gear, and also as actual yoga pants. The multiple uses, intended or unintended are quite remarkable.
     Are they the equivalent of men's sweat pants? I don't know. The thing is that I don't know of any man that has more than two pairs of sweats, and frankly sweats don't have the same panache as "Yoga Pants". How many pair of yoga pants does someone own on average? I thought that's a good question so I decided to interview my wife. The answer? Not enough. So how many pair do you own? And how do you use them? I don't usually solicit comments but I would like to hear from those that actually bother to read my rambling.

   Controversy at Schools 

     Recently there was a controversy at a High School in Lake Minnetonka, MN (yes the same one as in Purple Rain) where the principal wanted to ban yoga pants/leggings for students. The issue was that the young ladies wearing the yoga pants were not covering enough of the actual pants, if you know what I mean. My curiosity was peeked so I went to google images to get photos of some yoga pants. The pictures to the right are the tamest images I was able to pull. Most of the images that popped up were of hard bodied woman showing their backside, in the pants, or of young woman taking "selfies" of their butt in the Yoga pants. I'm never one to stand in the way of the freedom, to do what-cha-like, but maybe in this case HS girls can either cover their assets or just stay in jeans. Just sayin.

Men in Yoga Pants?

Ahhh, NO! The end.

This Generations Spandex/Biker Shorts?

     That's right. You that are my age or close to my age remember what I'm talking about. We were the same generation that clowned those unfortunate folks that practiced the illegal use of spandex. You know what I mean.
     So my question is do the same rules apply? I don't care whether they are Lululemon, Nike, or BCG there is always opportunity to abuse the use of Yoga Pants. Question is are you in violation of the use of yoga pants :-)

With that I'll wrap up this edition of my blog. Hope you all have a great week.

http://www.today.com/moms/leggings-pants-cover-your-butts-one-principal-tells-girls-1C7154422

P.S
Fitness update: feeling real good, still working out at least three times per week.

Thoughts on drama

    I've been meaning to write a new post but frankly I struggled with what topic I'd settle on. For a moment I thought about going heavy by giving my thoughts on immigration, since that issue seems to never go away. But as I thought about it, I felt that I could not separate emotion from the topic. So decided against it. May save that for another day. So I decided to take on a subject that I think anyone can relate to. 

     In my 42 years of life I've met all types of folks. I've met folks that thrive on drama and those that have no use for it. The people that I find uniquely entertaining are those that are not self aware enough to know where they are in the spectrum. 

    I'm not here to pretend that I've never been caught up in drama. Whether it's work related, relationship related, family related, friends related, I have experienced it. The bulk of the drama was in my formative years. As I've matured, and frankly grown older, I have found that I really have no use for any type of drama. It just exhausts me. To me getting involved in any ones drama cost too much. It cost time, it costs energy, and it costs me my good mood. 

     All that said I have implemented a no drama policy. Does that mean that I'll be able to eliminate all drama in my life? Of course not. I'm not that naive, I'm still married, I have kids, and I will still have family, friends, and work, and I'm pretty sure I'll create some drama ;-). 

     So how does this no drama policy work, you may ask? Glad you asked. Here are few things I try to do to limit the drama in my life. 

Drama Mitigation Policy

• Pick and chose your battles. "Yes Dear" has saved me a lot of time, effort, and heartache.
• Stay out of conflicts that do not concern you. I have a, don't take sides and don't get involved where it does not concern me, strategy. You'll have the urge to put in your two cents worth. But don't... put that change back in your pocket.
• If you find yourself spooled up about something and reaching critical mass, get up and walk it out. Go outside, got to a different room, just get away and reset. 
• Do not enable Drama Kings or Queens. Do not give he or she an opportunity to get started. Keep a conversation focused and deal in details and avoid emotion at all cost. If the person starts down the path to Victim Lane, have an escape route. 
• You're the parent not the child. The end.
• Leave work at work. Don't bring that crap home. If you can't, learn how...quickly.

This post has been therapeutic for me. I will go out and continue my campaign against drama. Hope you all have a drama free week. 

Fitness update . I let the flu derail me. I was down for 7 days and got discouraged. Just started working out again today. Back at it though. 

Thoughts on local business

     I'm constantly surprised to what I pay attention to. There is no pattern. At least for me, it's completely random. If something strikes me as interesting I'll make the effort to investigate further. Some topics, however, are more prevalent than others. Recently two topics that constantly grab my attention can be generalized as "American" topics. One, is supporting the troops and the other is the second amendment. In the news, on the net, on Facebook, there are constant reminders that these two subjects are directly tied to Americanism or being American. No opinion just a general observation. 

     So maybe you're wondering, what does this have to do with local business? Well here it is. To me there is nothing more American than starting and owning a business. The process of developing an idea, planning, and then executing a start up business is what America is all about. In short the entrepreneurial spirit can also be characterized as the American spirit. You have to admire the type of person that is willing to take a risk on their dream knowing that there is success for failure. Yet they still make the choice to take that risk.

     I've been in our community for over 12 years and I have seen a lot of local business come and go. However it's not until the last 6 years that my attitude on local business has changed. Now more than ever I find myself  searching out local and independent operators and offer my patronage. In most cases I find the quality of the product or service better than the larger corp owned chains. That's a win for the local community and for the patron.  Yes there have been negative experiences but no more than with the larger corp owned operations.

      Am I saying that I am turning my back on the corp business? No, that would be naive. Time and money dictate that I still need to use these businesses. What I am saying is that I have made the choice to take a stand in a few areas.

Coffee

Going forward I will seek local coffee houses. I will no longer go to Starbucks, Dunkin Donuts, etc for my coffee. There is a local spot right down the street so that's where I will take my business. Yeah, you maybe able to package and ship boxes from he same spot but who cares the coffee is awesome.

Food

To the extent possible, we will keep eating out to local spots

Beer

I'll also keep this local to the extent I can. There are various options for local Texas beer. However given the location and offerings, I'll at least keep my beer drinking to craft and artisan beer.

Services 
Whatever the service I'll seek out local independent businesses

That said I encourage all my friends to keep it local and keep it in the community. Have a great weekend.

Thoughts on raising children

     I have to admit, I struggled on what write about for this post. So many topics, so many opinions, so many issues.    

     Recently a few of my FB friends posted the following link to their wall. http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2013/01/08/are-raising-generation-deluded-narcissists/?fb_action_ids=10200322259844454&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582#ixzz2HgLHUlvj  

    To make sure that I soaked it all in I read and re-read the article. Let me start by saying that I do not disagree with the good doctor. As a matter of fact I agree with most, if not all, of what he is saying. I do believe that, in general, most kids grow up with a sense of self entitlement, that I frankly never knew growing up. I believe that my generation still grew up with the idea that you earn what you get and that nothing is just given to you. 

    That said here is where I have a problem with Dr. Ablow's article. He doesn't offer up any solution. Instead of stating his opinion on an existing issue and then following up with a recommendation; all he does is present us with the problem. I'm sure Dr. Ablow is a very accomplished Psychiatrist. Why not go out on a limb and recommend a course of action? Maybe recommend some tools to help young parents cope? Wait...it just a occurred to me that he may have a book that does, just that. Okay, I get it, the problem is free but the solution is going to cost you. Well played Dr. Ablow.

Soapbox alert

   Look, parenting is not easy. I know. I've tried by best to properly raise two children. How you raise your kids is none of my concern and do not pass judgment. However we live in a world where society does pass judgment and does think that it concerns them, relative to how we raise your kids. As much as I hate to say it, society does play a part on how I raise my kids, specifically on how I discipline them. Let me put it in context. Last Saturday during warm ups for my son's basketball game I shouted out to him, yes I shouted, to use the backboard. With a look of disgust, and in front of a bench full of parents, he waived me off as to say, don't bother me, I got this. Let that marinate for a second....What did I do? I, with the other parents, made light of it and laughed it off. What did I feel like doing? My inclination was to snatch my son off the floor in front of all his his teammates, drag him outside, and let him know to not do that again. My father would not have thought twice. 

    So back to the article. Here is what I try to do to mitigate against the self entitlement and narcissism.

Keep it real 

• I love my kids very much, but them liking me is not necessary as they grow up
• I'm not my kids friend, homie, road dog, or buddy. And I don't try to be. I'm there dad 
• I don't celebrate mediocrity and I don't pump sunshine. If the kids have a bad game, I tell them they didn't play well and offer objective recommendations on how to improve. If they play well it's high fives all around. BTW it bugs me to no end that trophies are given just for participation. 
• I don't coddle my kids. If they fall I tell them to get up, if they experience disappointment I ask them what they are going to do about it. (you can ask my daughter she'll tell you)

     I'm am not saying what I do is perfect or even right. It's the only way I know how. As I mentioned, every parent has a tough job in raising their kids, especially in today's information age and pressure that society puts on us. So special shout out to all my family and friends that are raising kids. Wishing you all the best. Good luck.

P.S
Update on the weight loss. Three weeks working out 3-4 times per week. Feeling good and hurting at the same time. But it's a good hurt. Will occasionally update with milestones.

Thoughts on fitness

    I'm going to make a promise and I intend to keep it. I promise never to post a "check in" at a gym, fitness club, or any other fitness establishment on Facebook ever again. That's not to say that I’ll never go to the gym again, or that I’ll stop trying to stay in shape. As a matter of fact I was at Limitless Fitness (personal training/boxing) earlier today and I feel great. It just means that advertising my visits to the gym on FB has not provided me with the motivation I thought it would, at least not the sustained motivation I was looking for. And to a certain extent all it says about me is that I’ll stay committed for a while and then quit. I'll address this later in the post.

    Before I dive into my personal fitness habits let me get this out of the way. I'm fat. Further to that point I am very well aware of why I’m fat. I have no illusions and blame no one but me. The bottom line is that I eat and drink too much and I'm not active enough to offset all the energy I consume. So my body does what it was engineered to do when energy can't be processed. It stores it. In my case, and in general, it stores it as fat. 

     Do I like being fat? I do not. Would I prefer to be thinner? Yes I would. Do I do the things necessary to be thinner and live a healthier lifestyle? I do not. Do I want to change that cycle of behavior? I really do. This brings me to the end of the first paragraph. What will it take to stay committed and to behave in a more active and healthier lifestyle? The answer is... lead the change in behavior rather than manage my current behavior. What I do now is manage my health and gym regiment, meaning that if my clothes are fitting too tight I change my eating, go to the gym for a month or so, start feeling good about myself, and then allow myself to get right back into the behavior that gained the weight in the first place. So what's the difference if I lead the change? The answer is that in leading I realize that I have the choice to break that cycle of behavior that allowed me to gain and maintain my current weight. Leading doesn't allow me to blame, work, family commitments, and I certainly can't blame school anymore. The bottom line is that I can't blame life, rationalize reasons, or make excuses. That would mean that I have no choice and I certainly do not believe that. 

   

   So what does this all mean to me? In 2013 I am going to genuinely make the choice to change my behavior regarding health and fitness. At 42 years old there is still time to be it the best shape I can possibly be in. For my part I am letting my trainer take a picture of me now and then one in 160 days. Scary but true.

    If I gain the results I am working to, I will share the pictures on this Blog. If not... well I won't. Sorry, my blog my rules. 

   Here is hoping everyone has a Happy and Healthy New Year!

My first post and thoughts on the Second Amendment

To start off the new year I decided to write a blog. I haven't decided if my post will be weekly or monthly. I find that it's better not to commit to anything unless you plan to follow through. For now, baby steps. I also didn't advertise to anyone that I was going to start writing this blog. I think it's better to take action rather than just talking about it.

In case anyone bothers to read this blog, I have a few caveats. One, I will do my best to maintain an acceptable level of grammar. As far as spelling goes...well if spell check can't bail me out I don't know what to tell you. Anyway, if you're the type that gets driven crazy by imperfect grammar please do us both a favor and stop reading. It's not my intention to drive you bananas. Two, these are my opinions and thoughts. Some opinions will be based on fact and most will be based on feeling and bias. The point is that they are just my opinions. There is a risk that you may get offended but again that is not my intention. This is just my vehicle to vent and not impose my thoughts in an other medium, like say...Facebook. So if you are sensitive to differing opinions I apologize in advance and you are free to click out of this blog at any time.

That said let's get started. Let's talk about the Constitution of the United States of America for a moment. I, like some of my family and friends, served in the US Armed Forces. We took an oath, during our service, to protect the Constitution from enemies, foreign and domestic. I willingly took the oath then, and still believe in it now. I think that aside from the American spirit, this document is the cornerstone of our greatness as a country.

That said, as a nation, I think we get caught up on what our rights are, and immediately take positions to defend those rights without much thought. This brings me to the Second Amendment which protects our right to keep and bear arms. I believe in this right and genuinely support it however I also believe that just because you have a right it should not allow you to lose your common sense. Just because you can own a 50 caliber machine gun, does it mean you should? Is it really necessary to own an assault rifle  just because your rights allows you to? Gun advocates say that guns don't kill people, that people do. So then what's the difference between a 22 caliber hand gun vs a high caliber assault rifle? At the end of the day just because you have a right to do something doesn't mean you should. Sometimes you need to stop, think, and just be smart.